try to love the questions
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During my first month with my therapist, I was given this worksheet to read and work on. She noticed that while I was talking with her, that my thoughts followed a lot of these. I wasn’t aware that my anxiety had brought me down paths of low self-worth and stinky thinking.
After a couple of weeks of talking with her, she gave me this worksheet to work on.
While, at first, I thought these weren’t going to work out, I was very surprised to see just how easy they were to use . My homework at that time was to identify which sort of thinking I used on the regular and which ones would best challenge them for me.
So, what do you think? Do any of the maladaptive thinking patterns sound like you? which ways would you like to untwist your thinking?a little free cbt for us the people
(via summerstormchangeling)
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“No feminism worthy of its name would use the sexist idea ‘women born women’ to create the edges of feminist community, to render trans women into ‘not women,’ or ‘not born women,’ or into men. No one is born a woman; it is an assignment (not just a sign, but also a task, or an imperative … ) that can shape us; make us; and break us.” — Sara Ahmed, Living a Feminist Life (via lesbianmarx)(via theechrysalisamidst)
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no one wants to hear it but love is earned after the initial infatuation. commitment is something u both mutually agree to and then from there it’s work. it’s not work like it’s a chore it’s jus work like it takes effort. to get good at these things takes practice. it takes practice to learn to communicate better and it takes practice to learn to love each other in the ways u need to be loved.
(via theechrysalisamidst)
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Insisting that a woman who lived her whole life as a woman except for dressing up as a man back when that was the only way to do a traditionally masculine thing (like join the army) must have actually been a trans man isn't true, and doesn't help trans men. It just denies the lives of women in a sexist society who had ambitions other than cooking hubby's dinner.
Anonymous
The issue of historical maybe-trans people is complicated, probably impossible to fully understand from a modern perspective, and I don’t think it serves them well to declare that they definitely were or definitely weren’t trans.
I’m a little bit prickly about this because one of the things people do to delegitimize trans people is imply that being trans was invented by Christine Jorgensen circa 1951. (Or by Tumblr kids circa 2007, if they really have no historical context.) It’s important for trans people to maintain a deeper sense of history.
And that history includes the fact that current trans nomenclature and taxonomy is mostly very recent, and that people who would call themselves trans now may have called themselves “transvestites”, “female/male impersonators,” etc. in the past. Being trans does not come packaged with a 2017 understanding of gender theory, and when a historical person was thinking “I should dress and live as a man… so I can join the army!” it’s very hard to tell which half of that sentence was louder in their mind.
All of which is not to push the position that they’re all trans and there’s no such thing as a cis person who cross-dresses for other reasons. Just… they’re both real scenarios, and in most cases we’re in no position to know who was which.
cis/trans is a false binary anyway, as binaries tend to be
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its sooooo ugly how confident so many dudes are in producing the most average music and art … … . .…… .. where is their shame … why did i get taught so much more shame than is useful to me
(via standpoor)
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Being attracted to men is an endless cycle of “Wow he’s good looking” and watching that man do the absolute most to show you he’s hideous on the inside.
(via ex-foliant)
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add a tiny sliver that says “two of them were brought to a thing by their extroverts and ended up sitting quietly next to each other and then decided to sit quietly next to each other for three years until they finally trusted each other”
(via queerandpresentdanger)
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how to tip
If you do this get the fuck off my blog
Please understand that they gave a 33% tip, in cash instead of on a card, to increase the odds that the server could keep all of it.
What they mean by ‘taxation is theft’ is that servers are taxed on the ASSUMPTION that they will be tipped. If they don’t make those tips, they get taxed on them anyway. It is literally theft. By leaving cash and not writing it on the receipt, they’ve allowed the server the option of quietly slipping that 20 into their pocket and therefore not being taxed on it.
this seems like a cool thing to do but in a lot of restaurants, there are many other underpaid staff relying on a set percentage tip out as part of their earnings (host, bussers, dishwasher, prep cooks, etc)
(via queerandpresentdanger)
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(via mslovejoy)
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haven’t been on tumblr for a while but i had a coffee in my night class so now it’s past midnight and i’m fucken WIRED
forgot that it’s all porn bots and paid ads ‘round here nowadays
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Y'all understand that it is literally not possible for gay couples to be heteronormative. A masculine gay man dating a feminine gay man isn’t heteronormative. A butch lesbian dating a femme lesbian isn’t heteronormative. They’re fucking gay. Telling gay people they’re somehow enforcing heteronormativity by being themselves and dating another gay person is nasty and ridiculous.
mhmm yes that’s why we have words like homonormativity & homonationalism to describe the phenomenon of gay couples perpetuating white supremacist settler colonial capitalist assimilatory monogamist nation-building practices.
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